matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The power of my boobs compel you
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
