what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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