I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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