No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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