loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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