4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
