better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
