is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
