i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
