I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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