the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
His nipple licking is glorious
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