i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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