You're so nebulous sometimes
I cockslap morals
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
