just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
