they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
