Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
