I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
