I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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