this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
