I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
