Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
