Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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