Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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