we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
