My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
