come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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