I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
