Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
