She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just cropdusted the office
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
