Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
