the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
