Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
