just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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