NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
