His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You know, be my cock's hype man.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
