i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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