i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
