went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
