what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you win again, gameday.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
