I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
