Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
