that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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