I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
