it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
