let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
