Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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