Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
