I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
