Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
