then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
