I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
