"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she told me i tasted like america
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
