a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
